Birmingham Train station has a special cupboard for Sex Robots.

Mmmmm... Sweet sweet Avacardos.

"Hi, I'm Mini be having a Fiesta on S-Hyundai, and I was w-Honda-ring... have you got anything Fiat I can use to make an af-Ford-able dip? Skoda be appropriate to the occasion though..."

You're such a tease...

Delicious bench, why must you hurt me this way?

Ummmm.... That's NOT Ice-T.

I regularly come across incredible examples of BAD graphic-design during the course of my day job. But this one takes it to a whole new level. The designer of this front cover exercised an unmatchable lack of knowledge about the product he was working on. (Either that or he was a sort of subversive racist.)

Just because he's a black guy, it does NOT mean he is Ice-T. I'm not disputing the fact that Ice-T might be in your film... but that guy... The guy on the cover under the name Ice-T.... ummmm That's NOT Ice-T.

Early warning that the IQ level in this store won't be "All That".

Something for the superhero who has everything...

I love that the company is called PaddiMac. It's like an Irish version of Kriss Kross.

"Local Family Seek Death Ray For Destruction Of Village." was too many letters.

This bugs me... 100%

When the fuck did people stop knowing how to use percentages?

X-Factor this year had Robbie Williams giving "111%", The Runner up giving "115" & "116" percent on regular occasions. On Talk shows people constantly say they are going to give "110%" to sort their lives out, or that they are "136%" sure that it is not their baby, or whatever.

Can everyone PLEASE stop being so God damn stupid. It's embarrassing.

I mean, there has always been a small portion of sports commentators and agents who would use that "I want you to give 110%" Bullshit. But now it seems EVERYONE is always giving more than the maximum percentage possible! It is idiotic and totally self-devaluing.
Let me clear this up.

You can only give/achieve 100 percent of your potential. You can not, under any circumstances, achieve more than 100% or your potential. It's not possible.

Lets break down the word here, Sesame Street style, to make it easier to understand.

"Percent"
"Per - Cent"
"Per - 100"

So you can only get 100 per 100... see?

If there were 100 questions on a test. You can only get 100 answers right.
If there were 100 toys in a room scattered over the floor. You could only pick 100 toys up.
If you go out and perform, and give it your all. You have given 100%. That is the best you can ever do.

That's 100% of the potential achieved.

If indeed you go out on stage, or on the football pitch, and you play even BETTER than last time... which you SWORE was 100%, then either last time you didn't really give 100% (and you were lying), or you have simply improved... in which case, you haven't given any higher percentage of goodness... you have simply changed the parameters of your percentage.

This constant distortion of percentages is self defeating... because once you destroy 100% as the Absolute, then every point above it will wear out it's power. 110% isn't good enough once you've given 111% in a performance... And god forbid you should just go out and give 100%, because that's more like 90% really... isn't it?

Perhaps we should have 360 be the top, and then each degree of a pie-chart would be a percentage? In fact, eventually 1000% will become the top, and then everyone achieving percentages in the hundreds will be considered slackers.

I blame competition programs such as X-Factor etc for this growth in public stupidity. People being exposed to maths distortion on a weekly basis by television stars is detrimental to the national IQ. It's ridiculous and anyone I hear doing it in future, will instantly lose 100% respect from me.



Post Script Note: The only time a percentage higher than 100 can EVER be used, is if you are using it to demonstrate how much better you are performing against a target that was set for you. Because 100% of that Target does not necessarily represent 100% of what is achievable.

NEW PILL BLOG - 2 Blogs for the price of 1!

Coming soon to a market near you, Gold Pills. That's right, these $425 capsules are both dipped in and filled with 24-karat gold. Ingesting them apparently "increases your self-worth". Which I suppose means that once you eat enough of them, you can start taking your poop to one of those stalls in the mall that buy gold, and sell it to them. By then you'll probably need to just to keep up your Gold eating habit.

An interesting side note, David Icke, (Ex-Sports Presenter, now speaker and writer on conspiracy theories) claims that there is a race of shape-shifting Lizard people living amongst us, and that they snort gold to encourage their transforming abilities. Apparently, that's why gold is so expensive.

So don't be surprised if you are suddenly able to grow that extra limb you always wanted.

Read about Lizard People: HERE

In other Pill related News... are Russians sucking the liquid fun out of alcohol?.

Russian professor Evgeny Moskalev of Saint Petersburg Technological University has evolved a technique that allows turning alcohol into powder and packing it in pills.

“Dry” vodka can be wrapped in paper and carried around in a pocket or a bag. Vodka in form of a pill would come handy at parties when “consumers” would be able to calculate their exact required dosage.

Either that or they could use it to spike people's actual drinks.

Source for both: Geekologie